This week, one of my college roommates, truly a good friend, sent me an email. She was asked to share her thoughts at a
Time Out for Women. Wow, what an intimidating honor! Bethany is such an amazing woman, she really is a friend to all, I have always secretly wanted to steal some of her wonderful qualities. In the past year or so I have been able to reconnect with her (all-be-it through emails, and our blogs). This girl in college was AMAZING, so to see her today, being asked to share her thoughts is no surprise! She has the heart of a giant, and the most loving testimony of the gospel. I am so impressed with the feelings she was able to share that I wanted to put it on my blog so that I can keep it with my daily treasures. I appreciate the gentle reminders of the sweet assurances that we have in our lives.
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A Sweet Assurance in Life's Process
June 29, 2009
By Bethany Hansen
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I have sweet assurance because I know my life is a process. Sounds simple enough. But, for me it was the answer I had been diligently seeking. Over the past ten years I found myself feeling discouraged and frustrated about my imperfections, my personal performance and my progress as a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law, and co-worker. I started to find it difficult to tolerate myself and it eventually became too much for me to handle.
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Let me share just ONE example to illustrate, my mornings:
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My mornings start out like this: I wake up, postpone exercising again and skip the shower because I ignored the alarm, throw on some clothes, wake up my four kids with a forced, "GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE" (which we all know is NOT a mutually sunshiny moment), pull out some cereal (yes it's sugared), pray that I bought just one more gallon of milk, wash 4 dirty spoons (because the dishes are definitely not done), help someone find that one missing sock or special shirt that is lost, read scriptures, gather everyone for family prayer, and finally herd everyone into the dirty van to be dropped off at school (sigh and pause…).
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While this might sound like a normal morning to most women, for me the real trouble was not the mornings, but the thoughts behind the morning. For example, I felt bad because I had slept in rather than waking up early enough to exercise and shower. I felt frustrated that I had to take care of my kids needs before my own needs were taken care of. I felt upset because I didn’t serve a well balanced breakfast for my kids. I felt angry that the kids still couldn’t find their own clothes even after my labor-intensive, drawer-labeling job, and the list goes on.
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With this mind set I was miserable and exhausted and couldn't figure out how to fix it. I hated not “doing it right.” What was the answer? How could I be happy when things seemed like they were always falling apart?I was disappointed to eventually find out that there was no single magic solution that could solve my problems. However, I was relieved to learn that there are a few eternal principles that have changed my discouragement to hope and peace, including Helaman's words in
Alma 58:11.
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#1 I am good enough ‘as is’. My dad once reminded me that my worth and my actions ARE NOT one and the same. What I do and who I am are very different things. While my actions are not perfect and they may be good or bad, successful or less effective, I am good enough ‘as is’.
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#2 God lives and knows me. There are times, I am pretty darn sure, that I didn’t do anything to qualify for His love, yet I received it. Because I know that God lives and that He loves me, this battle of life, as it sometimes seems, is not mine alone to fight.
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#3 Last and most importantly, Life is a process. My life is not a sprint to perfection, nor a deadline to meet. My life is a process. A process of overcoming and making better choices. There are struggles indeed, but they are my stepping stones and not my roadblocks towards perfection. In this process called life there is a great need to slow down. A great need to just be me. These sweet assurances have changed my life. I know I am good enough ‘as is’.